To all international students out there.

If there is any moment you (and I) forget how resilient you have been on this journey, I hope this blog reaches you.

“All my classmates went straight home after my class finished, and I didn’t know where or how to catch a bus. I felt like I should ask someone for help, but ended up not knowing who to ask. I guess I’m alone now.”

We met a student in our office 2 days ago. That was what they said.

They landed in this brand-new country on their own yesterday.

• Had classes start straight away.

• Got lost on the campus trying to find the right lecture theatre.

• Needed to find a way to get home but was unsure.

• Turned around looking for a familiar face but saw no one.

For (the probably) very first time, they realise they are on their own, in a country where not many speak their mother tongue and “home” is just a place that they could not even identify on the map.

From this point forward, they started shaping their resilience. They admitted that they were lost and felt lost.

1st step to resilience: Calling out your difficulties.

I met that student again yesterday. They were looking for a job.

At this point, they have already been in New Zealand for 2 days.

I’d love to tell them to slow down, but who am I kidding?

They probably went out to buy some groceries yesterday,

• doing the “exchange rates maths” for every single item they wanted to buy, and ended up buying 1 instead of 5 items on their shopping list.

• going for the Super Saver items (which would be thrown out at the end of the day if no one bought them) on the shelf.

• thinking about the massive amount of bonds and furniture for their new place.

• seeing people with a full trolley, and thought they must have had a well-paid job.

They stepped up on their resilience game. They acted, starting with seeking help from a Career Consultant.

2nd step to resilience: Knowing when, where, and who to reach out for help.

I wish I could just grant them a job. But I’m a consultant, not a fairy.

I understood their eagerness to land a role, to earn some money.

But as a consultant, whenever I am unsure, the right thing is to check up on the bottom layer of our hierarchy of needs.

(Maslow, 1943 as cited in Hopper, 2020)

• Do you have a place to live?

• What is your financial situation like?

• Will you be able to cover your food, rent, and power, and for how long?

• What are some other basic needs - internet, phone, transportation?

They asked someone to show them how to use the bus card, where to catch a bus, and how to know which goes where. They got a phone plan - just unsure how to use it. If they would like to work, they will need a tax number which they haven’t got.

I remember back in high school (in my home country), my mom showed me how to top up my phone plan - a 15-second instruction. How easy was that?

It was also really quick to help him navigate the phone app, but it took him 2 days to find someone to help.

And we started with small things like that.

3rd step to resilience: Circle back to the basics when you are unsure. Get the basics right and we’ll go from there.

To all international students out there,

You didn’t need my 3-simple-step guidelines to become resilient.

You just did it, and do it, and be it.

You may have learned resilience the hard way, but I guess that’s the only right way to go about it.

There (may) must have been struggles, pain, and tears along the way. But I hope you have also found wins, joy, and company on that same journey.

You have gone this far, to go even further.

The next time someone (including yourself) tells you:

• that your English is not the best

• that you have nothing relevant on your CV

• that you are not good at anything,

I hope this blog serves as a reminder that:

• you can speak at least 2 languages

• employers are looking for resilience and time management which you get from living away from home,

• that you are more than just “good”, you are resilient.

Sending virtual warm hugs to not just international students, but to all who live away from home.

A fact I guess you should know:

The student in this story is a mature student, who has spent years on this planet and still goes through this many pressure and struggles. So being mature doesn’t mean you cannot be vulnerable.

---

Reference:

Hopper, E. (2020). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571